Attention world: I’m female and I own a cat. Two in fact. I realise that this puts me at risk of being considered single for the term of my natural life, developing a personality disorder rendering me unable to communicate with other humans, and that the feline population of my household will one day outnumber the shoes in my wardrobe. But how did the humble puss cat, and by association their owners, end up being the butt of jokes while dogs and the people who pick up their poo are somehow too cool for school? Has someone not told them about “personal branding”?
Don’t get me wrong, I like dogs. I love their eternal optimism and the ability of their poo-pickers-up to fraternise freely with others of their species, but I’m not sure that this in and of itself is really enough to warrant their status as the must-have companion animal of the 21st century. Yes ok, by virtue of the flight risk associated with cats I am precluded from bringing my bundles of fluffy joy to my neighbourhood café, school drop-off or basically anywhere where unfamiliar humans maybe lurking. I fear that it’s this aspect in particular which may be the root cause of the perceived aloofness and anti-socialism of our favoured felines. But I put it to those who snigger and point at we cat-owners that this is their inherent charm. You can’t make a cat do anything they don’t want to do if you (1) want any kind of harmonious and ongoing relationship with said feline, and (2) you wish to keep the skin on your arms as a functioning organ of your body as opposed to a collection of ribbons hanging from your torso. When your cat comes to greet you upon arrival home, jumps up to sit on your lap or tries to break down the door when you’re in the bathroom, that’s genuine affection. No bribery or coercion required. It’s also why my fellow cat owners and I tolerate the 5am none too subtle breakfast demands and the presence of cat fur on E.V.E.R.Y. single belonging we possess**.
To all the cat owners out there I say, rise up and be proud of your pet of choice. Be unafraid of ridicule for your reward is a resounding purr of approval from those who matter.
** I have found a solution to the cat fur residue dilemma that does not require shaving your cat or banning them from anywhere where they could come into contact with a piece of fabric. Our Feline Futons are just the ticket to leave on your puss cat’s favourite napping spots be that on your bed, on the sofa or that prime sunny spot. Machine washable and very popular with our extended Global Feline Family!